“Budget dekha kya?” is the common question on the lips of every common man in India since 1 February of every year. The Union Budget of India is presented on the first day of February so that it can be materialized in the first month of the financial year i.e. April. Finance Minister Nirmala Sitharaman shall present what is being termed as one of the toughest budgets facing the Modi government. With a crippling economy and an all-time low GDP growth, eyeballs are now set on #Budget2020 to seek some relief. But it is also important I ask, do you even understand the Union Budget? I don’t. In a departure from ‘How’s the josh?’ I am pretty sure people are going to ask each other – “Budget padha?” Because opinion dena toh hamara janam siddha adhikar hai, right? The problem is not that you want to comment, it’s how you should. However, it is around this very time frame we see new trade and finance pandits emerging.
Here are five types of finance pandits who just won’t refrain from making Union Budget a personal business because duniya ne humko diya kya?
1. “Didi, mehengai dekhi hai?”
Forget the FinMin, your maid can give you a better lowdown on the budget. She will ask you for a raise, regardless of how the budget affects her. So, play along and politely accept her leave application unless you want to take over her job.
2. “Acche din kab aaenge?”
There is always that one person in every group whose sole purpose in life is to be a pessimist. “Sab paisa khaate hai, kya khaak acche din aaenge?” They will try to convince you that the government is a massive sham and everything is rigged. Listen to them patiently, maybe sponsor their lunch to avoid more arguments.
3. “Petrol ki jagah paani daalna padega ab!”
Your Uber/Ola driver won’t be a pretty soul probably if the fuel prices go up. The ‘budget analyst’ will tell you all about the budget allocations but rest assured, the conversation will last as long as your ride.
4. “Whatsapp pe bheja toh tha!”
Make way for the ‘expert’ from the school of Whatsapp forwards! These are the kind of people who learn everything from the messages that come on their chatting app. They never hesitate in adding a personal touch and circulating spicy rumours. They do make for good conversation makers though!
5. “Tax returns kitna hai?”
The chartered accountant and lawyer friends should be steered clear off for some time after the budget is presented. They are the real experts but who wants to go back to a Geometry class? Just nod and agree.
All these people only care about how the budget affects them. You are an empathy giver. Smile and share!